ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
