Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
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You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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