I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
