He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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