she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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