he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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