I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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