I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
