is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
