Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
