So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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