Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I CAN MOONWALK!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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