haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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