Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
