Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
