I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just got carded by a ten year old.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize