Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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