I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
