I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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