What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
