Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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