so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
