He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
