I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
