Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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