On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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