She announced her abortion via fbk
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
