I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
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She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
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