check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Even my vagina gasped.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
