two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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