my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
