so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
