Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Girls should come with a carfax report
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
