I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
