is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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