she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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