I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
