Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
only you would photoshop your dick
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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