I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
