I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
