Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
