I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
