Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
