While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
