i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
home. puking in laundry basket.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
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