You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize