i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm really busy with my period
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