Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
