Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I could fuck to npr.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
