Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She's the barista slut.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
