And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
