yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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