The maid of honor just puked.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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