According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
