adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I believe in your delicious
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
