Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
