I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
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Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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