I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
