it was like eating out sand paper
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize