More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
