it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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