She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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