Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize