ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
