kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize